snape-crow

Another Light in the Dark

Have I been here before?

Once Upon A Time
snape-crow
[info]jayne_darcy

“Once upon a time…”

“BORring!”

“You asked for a scary story. As I am the storyteller, I can start the story however I wish.”

“I want vampires.”

“What if I don’t want to tell a story about vampires?”

“It doesn’t have to beabout vampires. I just want’em in the story. ‘kay?”

“Watch that tone or I’ll clobber you.”

“You’re always threatening to clobber me and you never come through, so it’s kind of a useless… OW!!! You hit me!!!

“I felt it was time to follow through. Now. Once upon a time…”

“I’ve got a headache now.”

“Well you goaded me into hitting you, so now you have to suffer the consequences. Once…”

“That’s not fair!”

“Shall I clobber you again?!”

“No.”

“Maybe I should eviscerate you…”

“What?”

“Slice you and dice you up into neat little manageable pieces.”

“Oh yeah. Like mum’s gonna be real happy when she sees that.”

“If I do it to the right size, mum can stew you up for the weekend.”

“You’re getting a bit… cannibalistic, aren’t you?”

“Are you saying you’re prejudiced against cannibals?! Hm???”

“I didn’t say that at…. OW!!! Why’d you hit me that time?”

“It’s a stupid argument so I thought I’d nip it in the bud before it diverged into the twilight zone like most of our arguments go.”

” . . . ”

“Good. Once upon a time there was…”

“A vampire?”

“Not yet!”

“So there will be vampires.”

“I don’t know!”

“You ought to. You’re the story… OW!!! OW!!! HEY!!! OW!!! You’re denting my skull!”

“Don’t exaggerate. It’s not dented. Dents go in, you’ve got bumps.”

“Mum’s gonna ground you.”

“Are you sure it’s not grind, instead of ground? I think I’d grind up nicely. Not much gristle.”

“You’re creepy. Just… get on with the story, will you?”

“Fine. Once upon a time there was a boy with bumps on his head that lived in a forest of black beasts.”

“Where are the vampires? I don’t want beasts. I want… OWWWWWWWW!!!!! You rotten…!!!”

“OW!!! You can’t hit me! I’m the storyteller!”

“Well tell the damn story but not with slimy black beasts. Gimme some vamp…. eeek! You bit me!”

“You wanted a vampire.”

“You’re not a vampire!”

“How do you know I’m not? Maybe I was turned last night and you just don’t know it.”

“You were playing outside in the sun today.”

“I’ve got SPF 90 sunscreen.”

“Do not!”

“I do…. …. …. …. See? What’s that say?”

“SPF 90.”

“Hah!”

“Don’t bite me again.”

“I won’t. You don’t taste all that good. I think you need some spices. Maybe cayenne pepper.”

“How come you keep trying to cook me or eat me?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Well, go eat a peanut butter sandwich or something.”

“Peanut butter gums up my fangs.”

“You don’t have fa… when did you get fangs?! Does mum know?”

“She should. I bit her this morning.”

“YOU LIAR!!”

“I’m not lying! I bit mum this morning cuz I was feeling a bit peckish after being turned last night!”

“Mum wouldn’t let you do that!”

“After I explained it all, mum was all fine about it. She did tell me that Aunt Lucy has sweeter blood.”

“Is that why we’re going to Aunt Lucy and Uncle Jonathan’s house today?”

“Probably.”

” . . . ”

“Once upon a time there was a bumpy headed boy whose neck was bleeding. His blood was drawing all the black beasts of the forest to him and he…”

“Was really annoyed. I don’t want a story now.”

“Well! Isn’t that just nice? You wasted all my time when I could have been revising.”

“Revising for what? You don’t have exams for weeks and weeks.”

“I took a summer course.”

“In what?”

“Knife handling. I’m learning how to slice and dice flesh.”

“Whhhyyyy?”

“I already told you; with some cayenne pepper, you’d make for a ncie stew and I’m hungry.”

“MUM!!!”

Mirrored from I Have Been Here Before.


Shattered
snape-crow
[info]jayne_darcy

A fictional, little story of someone hurting…

Holes.

No. Not holes, but gaps.

Irregular, undulating. There one minute, gone the next.

I’ve realized that there’s so much that I am missing and I have no idea where to find it. I could easily look everywhere, under this, over that, but what am I looking for? What am I missing?

Incomplete.

Not whole.

I don’t know how to fix what should never have been broken. Bones, yes. Abrasions? Childs play. Cuts, scrapes, bruises… all of them I know how to fix.

This is broken. Me. Fractured? Shattered.

I saw a mirror break once from a single blow. It was a very heavy piece of glass that I struck out in all my rage at. It shattered. That had felt so… very… good.

I remember blushing as a strange feeling, somehow euphoric, yet humming deep in my bones, swept through my veins, every cell. I don’t know what it was, but ever after, when I broke something, I was able to conjure a ghost of that first feeling.

That’s it.

When he kissed me. The same feeling as when the mirror broke. I wanted to be kissed again, and he did so. A sublime moment that I’ve kept hidden away.

It was someone else that kissed me… who shattered me. Such sickness I felt. Such shame. It hurt in my mind, and my body as well. I was able to clean the blood, patch up the many scrapes and scratches… and his hideous bite mark. That took a bit more skill, but I did it.

My body functions, now. Like a robot… a golem? Everything is a routine programmed in my mind. A strong imprint. A script.

I wake in the morning. 8:30am. On the dot.

I then make my ablutions, brush my teeth, and clean my face. I shower every other day.

I choose my clothes from the wardrobe. A simple shirt, a pair of shorts, socks, shoes. For some reason, I get a little mesmerised when I tie my shoes. A little ill.

Knots in the laces.

Knots in the rope that bound my hands.

No. Routine. Back to the script.

Breakfast is next, although food still does not taste right. Ash. Soot. But, I eat because my body needs it.

Homework is simple. Well, homework is never simple, but I like it. I can think about so many other things than the storm of broken shards twirling in my brain like a frightening, menacing, tornado.

Tea is in the afternoon. I don’t really like tea anymore. I hate it, I think. It does taste good, though, and there’s warmth. When we go outside, I dodge the shadows as I grasp at the rays of the sun.

On my face, my limbs… everywhere.

Tea is when we talk. Or I cry. Sometimes I shout. I’ve punched and kicked, but always I am held together by an embrace. Strong arms and hands that are helping me to put the scattered shards back together.

Humpty Dumpty. I have to laugh. If I don’t…

If I don’t…

The Routine. The Script. I have to remember that.

After tea is time for true freedom. That’s when I can go outside, seeking the sun and the blue sky. My guardian comes with me. I think my guardian needs that freedom, the sun, and the sky, too. We don’t talk. We don’t go over my memories.

Bliss.

At night my guardian teaches me in the twilit hours. I’m taught ways to keep myself safe. I’m taught so that what happened will never happen again. I’m taught how to rebuild myself from the broken pieces.

Finally, there is sleep. Sleep means dreams.

Nightmares.

I have yet to sleep the whole night without waking to screams, only to learn later that it was me that was screaming.

Hours turn into days, days turn into weeks. There are steps back, but I am recovering. I am rebuilding.

I am still afraid, but my guardian is with me now. I still see the holes, the gaps, but they are growing smaller. I know what I am looking for, now. Peace. Belonging. Love.

I won’t be alone.

Never again.

~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~
 

This is an original story influenced by a very angsty, very well written fan fiction piece called Walk the Shadows. Harry Potter fans will immediately feel that this story is about Harry and Severus Snape, but it isn’t. It is about anyone who has ever been hurt, broken, neglected, or has been lost. Hence, this is NOT a fan fiction piece and will never be posted on a fan fic site.

Mirrored from I Have Been Here Before.


A Light in the Dark
snape-crow
[info]jayne_darcy

They told us to be afraid of the dark. We boarded up the windows and blankets, too, to capture the cracks. For awhile we burned candles within our house, but even that bit of light was too much.

All up and down the street the darkness of night settled down around our houses, the perfectly manicured lawns, and the beds of flowers. It was like a thick pitch that prevented the eyesight from penetrating its depths.

The children, always curious and never understanding how close danger was to them, could not resist trying to peek through the heavy curtains, the cracks in the boards. I wanted to yell, to scream, to somehow get it across to them to stop what they were doing but we couldn’t make noise either.

I loved my children, but they couldn’t stop their curiosity. They couldn’t keep quiet. Why I’m even trying to survive now I cannot say when I feel like I ought to go and lay down between them.

And then the light goes on.

It’s not mine. Not after what I did, I would not have turned on a light.

The light is the purest, brightest, ugliest of white and is enough to break the dark pitch. Now I’m the one that cannot resist peeking through the cracks. My heart is in my throat as I can see the edges of the light. Does it illuminate my house at all? Can I see them? I don’t want to see them, but I know that’s what my eyes are looking for.

A scream.

Another light, but again it is not mine.

Turn off your damn lights, my mind screams.

And there is another scream. A third light breaks another hole in the night. We’re lost now. I can feel my mind compelling me to go down the stairs and to add my porch light to the others. As the screams become a chorus, I turn away from the window and look down upon my children.

I turn on my light.

I never screamed.

Mirrored from I Have Been Here Before.


The Night Owls
snape-crow
[info]jayne_darcy

The sun went down rapidly, leaving behind a glaring trail of crimson in the black sky. Grey clouds rolled overhead, heralding the beginning of a storm. Although the time was yet early, the streets had been quiet for almost an hour. The only sign of life came from the weak, yellow lights in the homes and the more sickly lights coming from DJ’s Bar on main street and the flickering blue of its neon sign over the door.

Inside the bar David Bowie sang on the jukebox and in the corner there came a steady “thwip, thwip, thwip” as Marksie threw his darts with catatonic precision into the battered, old dart board. The bar was relatively empty except for the group of night owls that always managed to arrive at dusk and stay until closing time. Behind the bar stood, not DJ, for he was long since laid to rest in Traverston Cemetary, but his daughter Delta.

Delta Jean Johnson was a handsome woman with the luck of good genes as far as age was concerned. Appearing no more than mid-40s, she had recently celebrated her 50th birthday. Delta was a strong woman; the result of her father deciding early on that since Delta did not have an older brother to look out for her, she’d have to do the job herself. From the time she could raise her fists Delta had learned to “street fight” and thus had become a worthy heir to her father’s business. She had no trouble strong-arming an obnoxious drunk out into the empty street if the situation arose.

There were quite a few that wondered why some man hadn’t swept Miss Johnson off her feet, but the truth of it was, there had never been a man who could match Delta in either strength or intelligence. And sadly, DJ’s Bar was not the ideal place to meet one’s future husband.
However, Delta wasn’t one to regret such small things and after all, she had her “night owls” who would risk life and limb to stand by her side, no matter what. Certainly not the cream of the crop, but each one was a decent man.

The first was Oscar Baynes, retired from the railroad and in his late 80s, Oscar had been a night owl at DJ’s since before Delta was born. He’d been one to help select her name and he had attended her christening at St. Bartholomew’s. Uncle Ozzie, to Delta, he was always the first one through the door and the last one out. He perched on his very own barstool, cushioned, at the end of the bar and near the lineup of glasses on a shelf. Directly behind him was the alcove for the dart board.

Second was Henry James Wisher known to the night owls as Professor. Henry was in his 50s and at one time had dated the lovely barkeep, but whatever had kept the two apart, yet friends, no one ever knew. Once in awhile, on very cold nights when Death could be seen walking the silent streets of Traverston, Henry would go home with Delta. Never a word was spoken and the next morning, it was as though nothing had happened. The Professor preferred sitting near the fire, as he had a circulation disorder that kept his feet and hands always cold. Because of this, Henry had a habit of wearing knit gloves with the fingertips cut off to help keep his hands warm. Henry always had Time, Newsweek, and the local paper with him.

Sharing Henry’s table was the youngest of the group, twenty-five year old Doc Howard. Doc was not a real doctor, it was his real first name. Both his parents had been doctors and it had been their thinking that in naming their only son Doc that he would go into the same profession. Doc had resisted, though. With an insatiable curiosity, a glib tongue, and a pen and a notebook always at hand, Doc was an “aspiring reporter”. He had decided in college to keep his first name as he felt it gave him “an edge”. Doc was always the first to break the night’s silence after the doors to DJ’s were shut to keep out the spirits of the evening.

Lastly was Marksie. Marksie was the second oldest of the night owls at age 62 or 65; he wasn’t sure these days. Marksie was mentally disabled; the Retard. His mind, was possibly no older than ten, but he did have some special abilities. He was an excellent dart player and could throw a triple bull’s-eye seven times out of ten, he knew the first name of everyone in Traverston, including the newborn babies at Mother Mary’s Mercy Hospital, and he could cook an onion and BBQ burger that would put Carl’s Jr. out of business.

Delta had gone to shut tight the doors of DJ’s against the rising storm and right on schedule, Doc Howard spoke up with authority in his voice, “You know they found the head today down by the river.”

“I hear it was a sore mess to look at,” muttered Oscar.

“That it was, that it was, Mr. Baynes! As soon as I heard that they’d found another body part, I was in my truck and on the way down…”

“You didn’t see it, did you?” Delta interrupted as a slight grimace curled the left side of her lip.

“No ma’am, I surely didn’t. Shame though, me with new film in the camera and all. I did get to hear what Otis, the coroner had to say. Seems it hadn’t been sitting there all this time, but had obviously been thrown there.”

“Good Lord!” barked the Professor, “Do you mean to say that someone was hanging on to it all this time?”

Doc faced Henry, who was staring at him over the edge of his Newsweek. “Well of course they were! Hell, Professor, that’s what the murderer’s been doing this whole time! It’s a ghastly business hanging on to body parts and then throwing them out here and there like he’s gotten tired of playing with them.”

“Playing with them…. now that’s an unpleasant visual,” Oscar muttered once more.

“The whole situation is highly unpleasant, Uncle Ozzie,” Delta leaned over to replace the man’s drink with a fresh one. “Five weeks of this now, it’s been. The whole town is spooked… Doc, are they any closer to identifying who the murder victim is? I mean, with the head, wouldn’t they…?”
Doc leaned back in his chair as he basked in the limelight of the attention, “Well, that’s the problem, Delta. Like I said, Otis was griping about the mess the head was in. So bad as he couldn’t even make an ident on whether it was male or female.”

The Professor clucked his tongue and took a sip of his whiskey sour. “I doubt they’ll ever discover the identity of either victim or killer. Two feet, a torso, a right arm with no hand, and a head… not enough to go on, it seems. It’s certainly not enough for our meagre peace officers to work with.”

“With the head, though, they’ll be bringing in the FBI for certain,” Doc stated.

“The FBI?!” Delta almost dropped the glass she had just wiped clean. She recovered, though, and carefully placed it on the shelf. “Whatever are they going to accomplish?” She turned and eyed Doc critically. “Didn’t you say last night that with the advanced state of decomposition and the fact the body parts were being tossed hither and yon that there was no concrete evidence to show where they came from or how they got there?”

“That’s right, Delta, I did. What’s more, every body part has been strategically deposited in areas where no one has discovered footprints, tire tracks or any other sort of clue. It’s the perfect crime, I daresay!”

“Tut, tut, young Doc,” the Professor piped up. “There’s the butcher’s paper that held the two feet. That was clearly identified as having come from Anthony’s.”

Doc snorted. “So Anthony’s the murderer because his butcher paper imprinted with that silly pig logo of his was conveniently wrapped around two pieces of bone and gristle? Circumstantial, Professor. You should know better!”

“And Anthony is a sweetheart, Professor,” Delta smiled. “You know as well as anyone that he would never do such a thing. He’s a butcher, but not one that goes out to the slaughterhouse to get his own meat. No, it was right that they let Anthony go once he was questioned. Poor man.”
The doors of DJ’s suddenly swung open, bringing in a swath of the cool air and two nighttime customers; an elderly couple traveling through on the way to the big city. Delta greeted them warmly and Marksie pulled himself away from the dart board long enough to offer to cook the couple some of his special burgers. They agreed to the offer and Marksie was soon singing along with Elton John on the jukebox while cooking in the small kitchen behind the bar.

With the new arrivals, local news took a backseat as each of the night owls made the acquaintance of Joshua and Doris North who were on a leisurely journey to visit their daughter on school break. Their daughter, Louise, was learning computers and programming. Upon mention of that subject, the Professor joined the couple as they ate their dinner and spoke at length with them upon “the wonders of circuitry”.

A few more late nighters poured in for refuge from the now striking storm, the loneliness and the road. There were enough that at one point in the evening, the chairs and tables were moved aside to create a little dancing floor. Joshua and Doris turned out to be quite agile to the music of the Bee Gees and the Professor managed to coax Delta out from behind the bar for a swing or two.

It wasn’t long, though, before two a.m. strolled around and the lively crowd was beginning to thin out. Joshua and Doris were headed to the Best Western just down the highway and the night owls all made sure that the other guests were headed safely to home and that no one was driving who shouldn’t be. Delta served a last round of coffee to the night owls just as a bolt of lightning cracked overhead causing the lights to dance crazily for a few seconds.

“Marksie,” Oscar called out. “I’ll drive you home tonight. It’s a little too wet out there for you to be walking.”

Marksie looked up from his coffee, heavily laced with hazelnut cream. “But I… I was posed to ‘liver ‘nite, Unc Ozzie.”

Oscar frowned. “That you were. Hmmm. Doc? You can dovetail past the old mill this evening, can’t you?”

Doc finished off his coffee and began stuffing his notebook and pencils into his coat. He’d gotten a good interview from some bikers that had come in that night that he wanted to submit to the local paper tomorrow. “Sure I can, Oscar. No worries, Marksie. Why don’t you take my night, next week?”

Marksie grinned, “Deal!”

“Professor!” Delta called from the kitchen. “A hand, if you would?!”

Henry shot up out of his chair with a chuckle. “A hand, good one.” He shouted, “Right there, Delta!”

“Wait Professor,” Doc was fishing in his pocket and came out with a ring of over a dozen keys that he tossed to Henry. “Trunk key is the one that’s slightly bent. You have to jiggle it a bit, but it will open.”

“Thanks…” a solid, icelandic thump came from the kitchen followed by an undelicate string of cursing. The Professor cringed and half-jogged behind the bar and disappeared into the kitchen.
There was a short discourse between Delta and the Professor and then Delta’s head popped up through the door. “Uncle Ozzie, close up, would you? We’ll see you out front.”

“Will do, hon,” said Oscar as he went behind the bar for the keys. He motioned for Marksie and Doc to head out and then he flipped off the lights, locked the doors, and just as he was pulling them shut, he commented, “Must be the upper torso tonight, Doc. Heavy thing being frozen. How soon do you think it will be found?”

Doc answered Oscar’s question, but by then, the door to DJ’s Bar was closed and the night owls were on their way home.

~*~*~*~

Written May 18, 2002

Artwork by Kiche12 at DeviantArt

Dedicated to an “Old Friend”

Mirrored from I Have Been Here Before.


I’ve Been Watching
snape-crow
[info]jayne_darcy

I’ve always been watching. If not through a window, then through the eyes of my soul. Watching as each day goes by. And when the darkness would fall, my dreams would continue for me.

What have you been watching?

Him.

Your next door neighbor…. Charles Wilson?

Charles Emmett Wilson, with two t’s. No. Not him, as pleasing to the eye that he is, I am not watching him.

You’ve enjoyed his company in the past, haven’t you?

Charles? Yes, I have. He’s been a most agreeable distraction, but he knew I was preoccupied. As much as he liked the way the sun hit my hair and the sound of my laughter, he was never able to connect with me. A pity. If this had been another time and place, Charles Emmett Wilson and I…

With two t’s…

…could have lived happily ever after. This is a kind of fairy tale, isn’t it? One written upon the pages in an old german hand.

The Brothers Grimm?

Yes, the Brothers Grimm could be recording my life. A silly notion, though, that gives one the illusion that none of this is real. You have to realize that what I tell you, as impossible as it may be, is no story told in the shadows. It is as real as the blood I hear flowing through my veins.

Is it?

Skeptics were once burned as witches beside the heretics they denounced. Listen carefully to me and ask the right questions or you’ll be like all the others who constantly scribble their notes and push their glasses up their noses with an air of superiority. I know precisely where I am at all times. My sight may be seeing what none of you do, but I also see what all of you do. If anything, you’re the ones who are in the dark and getting lost in the shadows. Not me. Now, ask what you really wish to know instead of leading me as a horse to water.

Who is he that you are watching?

He is the breath of a shadow that falls upon your path when you are uncertain. He is the chill of fingertips that brush your neck when you investigate the things that go bump in the night. He is the rush that overwhelms you when the black cat, her hair awry in indignation, comes through the door with a screech instead of the bogeyman. And finally, he is the reflection that you see in the mirror behind your own eyes. He is the one that gathers the sighs, the tears, the regrets, the anger, the curses, the blessings, the final moment before the heart is still.

Death.

You’ve stopped writing. Could it be that you think I may be speaking the truth in your presence? Have I finally gotten your attention?

What have you watched? Recently…

Three rooms down from mine. He was once a man whose hands brought magic to the world. His fingers upon the keyboard of a piano blessed his audiences with light and love until something within his mind broke as he rode across Europe. He witnessed something so terrible in those foreign lands; a cruelty of man against man, that he was unable to process what it meant. So harsh was the blow to his mind that he could no longer play his music. Day and night he would see the image of a soldier shooting a child in the street like an aged film playing over and over. Last night, when his tears streamed down his cheeks, the film was ended and your staff found him in the silence of the dawn, his face a mask of peace.

You could not know… it is impossible for you to know any of this.

There’s that word, impossible. Already your mind is closing, and look, you’re writing your notes once more. Give me your pen and listen. Open your mind instead of finding avenues of escape from my reality. I am only 27 years old, but I have watched him for twenty of those years and my mind remembers everything. Everyone that he has touched has also touched me and become a part of who I am.

And… you’re angry? Yes… angry that he has consumed…

NO! I am angered by fools like you that must dissect what you can neither see nor understand. I am content. I am fulfilled and thankful because I am helping him.

Helping? How?

His burden is a difficult one and it is one he has carried for more centuries than we are able to count. He chose me to share that burden because he knew that I would be able to bear it. Yes, I have wept. I have cursed God, but not for giving me something I could not embrace, but for waiting so long to give him release. Think, doctor, of all the lives in this place that you have seen end here. You remember each one, I know that you do, because it is reflected in your eyes. Now, multiply those lives by the largest number that you can conceive and you will have just the tiniest understanding of what he holds in his memories, in his soul.

And he’s been alone?

Utterly.

I would have been driven to madness.

As was he, almost. I watch him and share his burden and will do so for as long as I am able.

You worry about him.

I do. Someday he will come to me… I am like the sin-eater of old who when he died the burden fell to his cursed son to eat the sins of the father and all the sins that went before him. All that I’ve seen will return to him. I worry that will be the day that his mind breaks and his soul will be destroyed.

Then, what will happen to us if Death can no longer be?

Mirrored from I Have Been Here Before.


The Thirst
snape-crow
[info]jayne_darcy

The bucket from the well was filled to the brim with the silver water. As Jonathan dipped his hand into the liquid, the surface rippled, sparkled and reflected the colors of the surrounding forest. His lips touched the water; it was refreshing, icy and pure. This time he dipped his hands for a deeper drink.

Jonathan’s head swam and he grew dizzy. The intoxicating effects of the water swarmed over him like a darkening sky. His vision blurred and he fell into a world filled with the images of his adventures… great riches and beautiful women. The vision was not clear, shrouded in mist. The gold and silver promises would fade away too soon. Dipping his hands again into the well, again he drank. The vision became clearer.

The sky had become an artful display of sapphires and diamonds. The seas undulated with the secret light of alexandrite. The land rose around him as emeralds, topax, amber, peridot, turqouise, amethyst. Cities of pearl crowned by gold towered over all.

The moment Jonathan turned his eyes from these dazzling sights he was caught by the magic of those that lived in this land. Fairies danced while noble elves fought gods in mock battles. Troubadours wooed lovely ladies while the daughter of a king bestowed her love upon the traveller.

One more sip, and he could remain forever.

He thrust his hands into the bucket and his fingers struck wood. The bucket had tumbled upon its side and the last of its contents fed the grass at his knees. Grasping the bucket, with shaking hands he threw the bucket down into the dakr depths of the well. All around him the edges of wealth, luxury and beauty were softening into a blur. The bucket was soon raised, but instead of the enchanted water, there was nothing but damp earth.

Jonathan cried out in anguish as the last of the bejewelled world drifted away from his sight like the gentle tendrils of smoke. He fell to the ground and pounded his fists in frustration. The thirst was a fire boring into his soul.

He would never leave the well. Someday, as he wept and pleaded, someone might hear his cries and the water would return. When Death could no longer endure the man’s sorrow, he collected Jonanthan, freeing him from the Well of Thirst.

Written before 1979

Mirrored from I Have Been Here Before.


Curiosity
snape-crow
[info]jayne_darcy

“Ah just had this feelin’, Doc, that you’d be a’interested in this.”

The farmer, a grizzled looking fellow in worn overalls and scrubby yellow-whitish hair, led the slimmer, dark-suited man down a thin path deep into the woods. The young man, who constantly pushed his glasses up the bridge of his thin nose, had to watch out for the branches that he was tall enough to run into.

The two men soon walked into a clearing. The tall fellow wrinkled his nose, blinked and then cautiously approached the edge of what appeared to be a man-made pond. Liquid churned, slowly as grayish bubbles rose like thick magma to the surface. As each bubble popped, a pale mist of silvery blue was released into the surrounding trees.

“Been changin’ tha leaves, Doc,” muttered the farmer. The young doctor glanced upward at the trees and noted the grayish-blue tint on the leaves.

Doctor Ethan Tanner eyed his surroundings and then settled back upon the noxious, boiling liquid. “How long?”

The farmer spat a thin brown strand of chewing tobacco onto the ground and scratched his stubbly chin. “Ehhh, round about two er three days. Ya ever seen ennythin’ like this?”

Tanner’s eyes were wide, “Never, Mr. Canton. But, this is hardly in my area of expertise. I find it terribly…. fascinating, but, I’ve no idea what to do…” he muttered something under his breath and stepped closer. It seemed as though the surface was beginning to curve slightly. “Sim…ply amazing…” He began to kneel down and was caught off guard as the grey liquid suddenly surged upward in one great wave. The “wave” split open, revealing hundreds of needle-like teeth. Tanner was unable to jump back, for in that same instant, Farmer Canton planted his booted foot against the young man’s back and propelled him forward toward the beast. The mouth closed over the entire man’s body with a single, horrendous crunch. As fast as it had appeared, the monster was gone beneath the surface.

The heavy grey liquid began to swirl and change. It went from dull silver to an almost transperent, thin, liquid. The farmer took a jar from his overall pocket and dipped it into the liquid. He drank deeply. “Yep,” he grinned with crooked teeth and smacked his lips, “just what mah Recipe needed!”

Mirrored from I Have Been Here Before.


Tiny Violets
snape-crow
[info]jayne_darcy

April 09, 2004 – Updates made January 31, 2008

I don’t know what they’re called, but I’ve always liked them; little violet flowers that dot the grass along the edge of the lake. When I was a little girl I’d spend hours picking them and weaving their tiny stems into purple halos to decorate my brown hair. The decoration never lasted longer than an hour; they wilted so quickly. There was a time, though, when I forgot about those flowers. I grew up. I left my home by the lake behind me and proceeded to move about in the busy world of adults. I went to school, where I was an excellent study at my chosen profession in the business community.

Upon graduation, which was attended by my parents, I moved smoothly into a job at a prestigious company that sold commercial real estate. I went about my job in a professional manner, pleasing everyone that mattered and not worrying about those that didn’t. I wasn’t looking for wealth, just comfort in my future, so I had an easier road to follow than most of my co-workers.

Day in and day out I would observe others racing ahead of me, leaving in their wake the entrails of those who had gotten in the way. Of course I had to walk a fine line; I didn’t want to get pushed aside so harshly. And there were those climbers who tried to push and found out, rather quickly, that what they saw on the outside was not what I was on the inside. I rarely had to say anything directly. If they were smart, they immediately got the message. I didn’t tolerate those that didn’t understand.

Despite my menial position in the company, I had a power that was not to be trifled with. New employees learned this, or they faded away. I realize that sounds cold, but anyone with intelligence will tell you that you cannot look for a solution to a problem with your emotions. For my continued peace of mind, what I did had to be done. I never hesitated and I slept well at night with a free conscience. In the end, isn’t that all that matters?

I was as content during that time. My days were pleasant with a comforting routine. As I think upon it now, it was that routine that was just like those days by the lake, weaving the tiny violets into halos for myself. I believed that I could live my whole life with such ease until the night my mother called in distress.

Mother is an excitable sort. Her histrionics long ago drove my father to leave us and find himself a life upon Life’s road. He left me behind with her, with her tears and inappropriate laughter. When she called, late that night, I wasn’t doing my best to listen. It was a habit of hers to use the dead of night to relate what she always felt was dramatic news to me. She enjoyed her melodrama. My habit was to pretend to listen politely, speak the soothing platitides, and promise once more to visit her within the fortnight. Of course, something “always came up” and such a visit never came to be.

Her news this evening was about the lake. I was eyeing the clock; 3:27am and I had a report due tomorrow. I heard bulldozers and something about property being sold to a developer. I shot fully awake when I heard the word. . . bones.

I sat up straight away in the darkness, not bothering to switch on the bedside lamp. My mother continued, her voice holding a mix of horror and sadness. One of the bulldozers had unearthed dozens of tiny skeletons, mostly squirrels. At first they’d thought nothing of it until one of the workmen noticed something odd about the skeleton of a tiny rat. Its little paws had been tied together, as if in prayer. Curious, the worker dug a little more. Each discovery of an animal skeleton with its front paws tied together added to the bizarre until someone called in the media.

Further exploration revealed dozens of rodents, birds, and squirrels. Examination of the tiny corpses revealed that each animal had been strangled or suffocated before being gently placed within its grave; its silent face pointed heavenward. Encircling each small skull was a curious bit of plant matter that had been neatly and tightly woven to form a halo.

As much as my mother was disturbed by the find, she couldn’t help but reminisce about the fact that I had played down there, down where someone had created such a horrible little cemetary. I was unnerved and sympathetic, and promised to visit when the weekend came. Further I assured her that none of the children I had known could have done such a thing. More than likely it was someone none of us knew.

I hate to admit it, but that next morning at work I was not myself. I don’t know why I was bothered. I felt haunted. I couldn’t look at anyone during the day without feeling that they saw a shadow behind me that wasn’t mine. I tried to compose myself, but I couldn’t.

I’m sure I don’t have to go into anymore detail. You know what happened. Several months before the lakeside cemetary was discovered, a similar cemetary had been uncovered in the forested hills above my city where I lived and worked. I’d been very concise and had left only mystery. The more time passed, the less time the media spent on the unsolved crime. My position in the company at that time was well settled, so there was no other side work for me to pursue.

I suppose if I’m guilty of anything it is of thinking I’m perfect. We’re human and flawed, and as much as we do our best to reflect the perfectionism we strive for, there is always that one time when we trip and fall.

I know you don’t understand and I really am tired of trying to explain myself. I never did anything out of hatred. As I said before, emotion was never allowed to figure into the equation. However, just as with the animals by the lake, I gave all those I dispatched my utmost compassion and care. I didn’t have living tiny violets, but I’d become very artistic with colored paper; origami it’s known as.

Naturally, I have since refused to deal with everything after I returned home and was brought here. It’s a pleasant enough place, very clean, and I rather like the simple gowns we’re given to wear. They smell of Spring and they’re dotted with hundreds of little flowers; purple ones. Just like the tiny violets that grew around the lake. Exactly like the ones I used to weave into halos for myself… and the animals.

Original photograph of violets by Marc Behrendt

Mirrored from I Have Been Here Before.


Hope
snape-crow
[info]jayne_darcy

The view of the mountains was lost upon Jiano; he was weeping silently as he stood next to Enarum. Enarum was in despair as much as Jiano was, but he didn’t have the luxury to wallow in his sadness. Someone had to be strong and that duty had fallen upon him.

Last night the Earth had tumbled from its orbit. It had spun out of its galaxy like a child’s erratic spinning top. Why everyone had not perished was anyones guess. Scientists had long theorized that such an action would set into motion severe destruction and tragedy.

Well, Enarum thought quietly, the tragedy was true enough, but not by fire, or poisonous fumes or the Earth itself tearing apart. There had been deaths. Too many for any one man to count. The Earth had shaken upon its axis and any man, woman, child or animal that did not hold securely onto some foundation was injured or killed. Like Jiano, Enarum had lost his entire family. His beloved Misara and his three daughters that were all like their beautiful mother.

Enarum sighed as he looked out through the arches of the cracked cathedral. Its damage hadn’t been from the Earth’s departure from the solar system, but had long ago been forgotten, and neglected. The ruins were now a sanctuary for those that had lived.

“Funny how the old architecture remains, but not the new,” mused Enarum.

Jiano sighed and wiped away one of many last tears. “Our ancestors knew how to build with the breath of the Earth, Enarum. In our time, we are a fast paced people all too willing to take shortcuts. Shortcuts…” he bit down upon the sob that threatened to remove the last of his dignity.

Jiano had been an architect. He’d built many of the buildings that now lay in dust in the shadow of the ancient cathedral. It was one of his buildings that had taken the lives of hundreds of families. His heart was broken, and he felt his soul would break as well.

“And so we must learn from our mistakes, Jiano. Our world, our way of life is dead. Our sun is gone and that will take so much more from us. Will we quit now or will we be among those that adapt to the darkness and take up residence in these ancient walls?”

Jiano moved away from Enarum’s side and walked to the very edge of the precipice that the old cathedral stood upon. He glanced over his shoulder briefly; his gaze saying all that needed to be said.

Enarum didn’t stop Jiano. How could he when his own heart so desperately wanted to follow? The faint pattering of small feet upon the nearby staircase was his answer. One by one they appeared, small children, older children, young men and women, even a few elderly. They gathered upon the stairs, their faces looking to him for their salvation.

Moving slightly toward the edge, Enarum looked down and saw the broken figure of Jiano upon an outcropping of boulders. Enarum had been an artist in his life, but now he would break free of his imagined worlds and help to create a new one. Putting on a brave smile, he made his way toward his people.

There was always Hope.

Artwork – stock photo by Elandria and modified by me in Pixlr Express

Mirrored from I Have Been Here Before.


Eleven Minutes to Midnight
snape-crow
[info]jayne_darcy

Eleven minutes ago it was eleven o’clock. My heart beat has counted each second. I ought to do something. Finish the book I was reading. Write a letter to my grandmother. What about my room? I could clean that. I’ve been so worried the last few weeks that it’s just an awful mess. I should do something!

The quarter hour chimes dully, the deep tone jarring to the tiny bones within my ear. I cannot make myself move. The glass that I’ve held in my hand is now slippery with condensation from the melting ice cubes. Briefly I wonder if I’ll place it on the table near my elbow, or allow it to drop upon the fireplace hearth.

A crash of thunder takes the question from my thoughts. Startled, my hand releases the glass and it shatters upon the slate of the hearth. Water splashes toward the fire and it sizzles to steam. A second crack of thunder, much harder than the first one, doesn’t provoke any reaction from me.

Twenty-five minutes have passed. The clock is relentless and as I watch the second hand moving jerkily around its face, I have a sudden, irrational desire to take a burning log from the fireplace and set the time-keeper afire. It wouldn’t stop time, though. Nothing will.

Roger is going to be the first to come home tomorrow. He has to go back to work in the afternoon, so he’ll be leaving the others to enjoy one more day out at the lake. I wish it wasn’t Roger that would come through the door first. He’s a cold man and his thought will be of the day of work he’ll be missing, not of me. Later he’ll think of me, but that will only come after the others are summoned back to the house.

The half hour chimes, sinking deeply into my bones. I can no longer sit in this chair and I rise, uncertainly. I almost sit back down, but I now loathe doing so. Yet, where can I go? I wish I could run. I’m not as young as Jackie who runs everywhere, but I can still move as fast as my heart beats. I stride over to the parlor door, but catch my breath before I cross the threshold. There is no place to run. I cannot outrun this.

Leaning against the wall, I look toward the clock just as three quarters of an hour makes itself known. I run now, but not to the outside, to the gardens, but back into the parlor. At the desk I wrench open the drawers until I have stationary, a quill. Opening the ink, I sit down as I dip the quill into the black depths of India. For a moment I hold the pen over the stationary and a rich, dark drop splashes upon the pristine surface.

I must write something. An explanation. How can I word it so they’ll understand? What can I write that will not have Roger condemning my soul with an insulting imprecation of madness? I drop the quill. There is nothing I can write. No one would understand.

The ticking of the clock is much louder now. I face it and watch as the last eleven seconds are brushed away by the second hand. Close behind it is the minute hand; both ready to join the hour hand.

Ten, nine, eight… It is time to make peace, but I am still afraid. Five, four, three, two… I do not hear the full strike of midnight, only one chime.

Mirrored from I Have Been Here Before.


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